Aaron is out of town for work this weekend, so I’m flying solo with Turner. We’ve had a fun, easy day so far, but when it was nap time today, things got a little rocky. Turner gave his typical, “I’m not tired….” speech. I let him mumble and groan for a while. He then shut himself into the bathroom in his best 3.5 year old act of defiance. I’ve learned the best way to deal with him when he’s in a cranky mood is just to leave him alone, and he’ll eventually come around. So while he was camped out in the bathroom, I crawled in my bed and waited for him to come out.
After a few minutes, he slowly peeped into the bedroom. He climbed into the bed with me and said “I want you to hold me.” Absolutely, buddy. A few moments later, he glanced across the room and saw our glider rocking chair that was in his nursery when he was little. It’s been parked in the master bedroom since November, and I’ve been meaning to get around to cleaning it up so I could sell it. We rarely sit in it and it’s just taking up space. But for some reason, Turner said, “I want somebody to rock me in that rocking chair.” I surveyed the room, and it was just me and the dog there, so I said, “You mean somebody like Mommy?” “Yes, I want you to rock me, mommy.”
We grabbed mucky (his favorite ratty old blanket that happened to be my baby blanket as well) and headed over to the rocking chair. Turner wiggled around for a while searching for a comfortable spot. My mind went back to the days when he was so little and I used to rock him so often in this chair. Now his long legs stretched out over mine and it was hard to believe how much he has grown. He finally found a comfortable spot, and I felt his rhythmic breathing and knew that he had drifted off to sleep.
I sat there and just quietly thanked God for my sweet son. I prayed for his health and safety and asked God to take away the little cough that he’s been struggling with this weekend. I prayed that God would keep Turner’s little heart moldable and open to learning His word. I asked for forgiveness for not studying God’s word as much as I should lately, because I know I need to be in the Word more often in order to teach it to my son. I started to feel guilty about wanting to be a better mom/teacher, but then my mind quickly recalled a night earlier this week when Turner recited several of the fruits of the spirit from memory. I’m not perfect, but I think I’m doing okay as a mom.
As we rocked, I looked around our room and thanked God for all of our blessings. I thought about how Aaron and I went from our little one bedroom apartment with a $50 hand-me-down couch when we first married, to our home and the beautiful life/family that we have today. I often get caught up in the busyness of life that I forget to be still and take note of our blessings. I am so thankful for the few moments that I got to spend rocking my baby/big boy today. I eventually moved him to the bed without waking him up (score!!) and watched him sleep for a moment. I’ve been so eager to get rid of that rocking chair, but after today, I think I’ve decided to hold on to it for just a little while longer.